Uncategorized, writing

Greener — no, Whiter Pastures

Happy Wednesday, everyone! Last week found me freaking the heck out over a hellacious car repair bill and other personal drama and I was a bit of a basket case. I didn’t even answer comments to my post – my apologies! This week has been much better, though. I’m a freelance writer of various educational projects but I’ve been getting burned out on that front lately. I’ve done a few children’s nonfiction books work for hire (my name wasn’t on them) and I so enjoyed them that I’ve really been wanting to do more – and Tuesday I was offered that chance for a new client. YAY! And this book will actually have my name on it! Amazing!! I’m jazzed.

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Wednesday is the day I join K. L. Schwengel‘s band of merry writers in doling out a date-related snippet of my work in progress. Today I have 18 paragraphs from my story Whiter Pastures. Don’t worry – they’re mostly short. Florance is struggling with a load of coal when …

She had gone no more than a dozen yards when suddenly the weight in her right hand vanished.

“Let me help you with that, miss,” said a warm, strong male voice.

“Oh!” Florance squeaked in surprise. “Why thank you, sir.”

A flash of white teeth and a cheerful grin. Lively brown eyes met hers.

“My pleasure, you can be sure.”

She glanced at him as they walked. Younger than her, most probably. A foot taller at least. Thick dark hair neatly combed back around a zigzagging side part. And a face that she found utterly, completely, transformatively gorgeous in all ways. She tried to control her burgeoning excitement. He must have arrived on this morning’s ship. She would certainly have recognized him otherwise.

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On the steps of the administration building he paused, looking out at the post as people scurried about hatless and in shirtsleeves. At 35° she was practically sweating herself.

He looked vaguely troubled. “I was sure it would be different here.”

“In what way, sir?”

His eyes flickered to hers, and he gave a rueful smile. “Greener.”

She didn’t understand for a moment. Out here, green was for tinned vegetables and putrefying wounds, nothing else. Then she realized what he meant.

“Glory be, not another one! No one told you that you are headed to Mason’s Point and not Mason’s Mill?”

He shook his head mournfully.

“And that Mason’s Point lay in Antarctica?”

“Australia… Antarctica. They sound a bit alike.”

No, love, she thought. They really don’t.

“If it’s any consolation, you’re not the first to have made that same mistake.”

“I’m afraid I need a bit more than consolation right now,” he said, looking rather crestfallen about the whole situation.

That’s it for this week. Join in if you like:

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9 thoughts on “Greener — no, Whiter Pastures”

  1. haha yes a bit more *sappy dog eyes* lol This is great. Who could confuse the two without really listening to what was being said? This is a great excerpt. I’m definitely interested in where the relationship between the two is going, if it’s going anywhere.

  2. Reminds me of a story of a friend of mine. She moved down to the contiguous and needed to go to the emergency room soon after arriving. She hadn’t changed banks yet, so she tried to pay with her Alaska USA card. Tried. The woman handed the card back. “I’m sorry, Ma’am. We can’t take foreign credit cards.”

    “Alaska is part of the United States.”

    “I thought it was in Europe.”

    When my friend and I discussed (more like choked ourselves with laughter) over this conversation later, we figured out the woman must have been confusing Alaska with Austria.

  3. Congrats on the new gig! I wrote some early readers for elementary school kids on contract one time and loved it. Also, “No, love, she thought. They really don’t.” That made me laugh. 🙂

  4. Congrats on the new project!

    Great scene, loved the descriptions, the set-up, and the mix-up. 🙂 One thing I tripped over was “transformatively gorgeous” because I couldn’t figure out what that would be.

  5. Ooh I like this Xina! I love the way Florance is immediately attracted to the handsome stranger. Just as good is the way she relays the message to him that he’s come to the wrong place and his response. I agree with Shan – he’ll need someone to cuddle up to! 😉

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